By Eze Eluchie
President Goodluck Jonathan
All hail Nigeria’s President Goodluck Jonathan and his National Council of State (a body comprised of all past rulers of Nigeria, the State governors and principal national legislators) which approved State-pardons for someone Jonathan himself admits is his mentor, an ex-convict and former Governor of Bayelsa State, Mr. D.S.P. Alamieyeseigha and a host of other ‘high’ profile criminals.
The list of ex-convicts granted State Pardon by Jonathan is most indicative of what Mr. President wants Nigerian youths to aspire to. The list includes a lilliputian ex-deputy head of a military junta, ‘general’ Oladipo Diya, who was caught on camera kneeling down and weeping profusely wearing underpants stained with pee when he was arrested in a coup plot and Mr. Shettima Bulama a rogue banker who was convicted for monumental banking frauds.
Jonathan must not stop at a mere State pardon, Alamieyeseigha must also be awarded Nigeria’s highest medal to recognize accomplished criminals, the Grand Criminal of the Federal Republic (GCFR). Others accorded State pardon may likewise be awarded lesser national awards of dishonor such as the Grand Criminal of Order of the Niger (GCON) or the lesser Criminal of the Federal Republic (CFR).
With these characters out on the streets, one really wonders why Nigeria bothers to maintain a prison system.
Without doubt, Jonathan’s ‘transformation agenda’ is in full swing. At going rates, considering the quality of rascality and criminality inherent in Nigerians ruling oligarchy, it certainly will not be long when it will become mandatory for organizers of international forums to take extra security measures to forestall pick-pocketing and Smartphone-thefts when our ‘high caliber’ delegations descend at international meets.
The unbearable stench is reaching the high heavens – let’s restructure and renegotiate our contraption!
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